It’s Kind of a Funny Story: One Year Later
Today is September 18. One year ago, I voluntarily walked into the Glens Falls Hospital Emergency Room and was admitted into the Crisis and Behavorial Health Unit for suicide ideation. Just like Craig Gilner, played by Keir Gilchrist, in the comedic film, It’s Kind of a Funny Story, from 2010.
Craig’s story begins on a bridge as he stops riding his bike and starts walking on a beam above heavy traffic. Suddenly, he hears his parents and younger sister talking to him, startling and causing him to fall. Thankfully, it turns out to be a dream. The next moment, we see Craig vigorously biking to a hospital, telling the attendant that he wishes to kill himself. Soon enough, he is admitted into the psychiatric ward, requiring, by hospital guidelines, to remain for five days. The story details his experience and the stories gleamed from the other patients.
Adapted for film by Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck, it is based on Ned Vizzini’s book of the same name. Ned actually used his own experience to illustrate the unique aspects of staying at a psychiatric ward. While he led a successful life as a prolific writer, mental health advocate, and writing teacher for teenagers, he, unfortunately, committed suicide on December 19th, 2013.
Ned Vizzini’s life story shows that depression is always looming, even for those that know its pull into darkness. A quote on his website about his fictional character states, “Craig didn’t get better as in ‘his depression is cured.’ He got better as in ‘he’s not going to consider suicide again.’ He sorted out some (and only some) things in his life ... like I did.” It brings to light the harsh truth that we are never truly free from negative emotions, but we can instill positive changes to redirect our lives.
The psychiatric ward is not all sunshine and positivity, though. As Craig learns, the crisis center is a scary experience at times. The broad spectrum of patients with various mental health issues leads to unexpected situations. I can recall an incident involving a gentleman that was having trouble calming his anger, eventually leading him to lift a heavy chair and throw it at a wall. The wall, incidentally, happened to be on the right side of the room I was staying. Thankfully, both of us were okay.
My nine-day hospital visit allowed me to begin a crash course in psychology, just like Craig. The strategies from the film were a direct reflection of my own experience. Creative outlets, like art and music, help to redirect our thoughts and back into the present moment. Meditation can help to improve the parasympathetic nervous system, increasing the ability to recognize and respond to stressful moments. Therapy can help find the words to express how we are feeling as well as discover new coping strategies. Prescribed and controlled use of medicine by a licensed doctor helps improve debilitating symptoms on the path to recovery.
By the time the fifth day arrives, Craig is now about to enjoy his life with appreciation, confidence, and determination when he walks out of the hospital. The film ends with a snapshot of all the things that propel his life forward, and it instills motivation to others.
Suicidal ideation is one of the scariest and worst feelings any person can experience. But we are not alone. While it can be difficult, talk to others, step outside your comfort zone, and become a beacon of light for yourself and others. Because there is always blue sky behind the dark clouds. We are all human, trying to live our lives the best way we know how. It doesn't matter who we are, who we love, or what we believe in. You are not alone, you matter, and the world is better with you in it.
